The student is put outside of society, on a campus. Furthermore, he is excluded while being transmitted a knowledge which is traditional in nature, obsolete, ‘academic’ and not directly tied to the needs and problems of today […] Young people from 18 to 25 are thus, as it were, neutralized by and for society, rendered safe, ineffective, socially and politically castrated. There is the first function of the university: to put students out of circulation.

My emotional life: dialectic between craving for privacy and need to submerge myself in a passionate relationship to another.

back to Believers

            Somewhat close. It made Gray feel ridiculous that an outside observer would feel the need to specify somewhat; it cast the tumult of feeling Gray had been nursing as something closer to unfounded obsession rather than what it really was: a legitimate closeness where both she and Rachel had shared an unprecedented amount with each other. It was, or had been, something special, not something somewhat.

            Gray wondered if that’s how all of MCA had viewed she and Rachel’s friendship. Perhaps all the times they’d exchanged notes or hung around in each other’s homeroom doorways, or dawdled together after lunchtime—maybe everyone had assumed Rachel had been doing Gray a favor. It wasn’t that Gray was unpopular, or not well liked, or somehow in the lower caste of sociability. It was just that she was different: her modes were a subtle shade apart from the majority of her classmates. Rachel was no Christian schoolgirl standard herself, but their pairing might’ve appeared lopsided, especially after Rachel’s election, or after she started spending more time with Daniel, whose face might as well have been the emblem on MCA’s polo shirts—all white teeth and sandy blondness, a boy born to be a youth pastor. Even after his departure, Gray doubted that he would really suffer after MCA life. He would probably float along on the same trajectory. He’d enroll at one of the other small evangelical schools within the tri-county area. His looks and affability would make his transition easy. He’d be tapped by his fellow magnetic teen princes and princesses, folded into their band of inclusivity, ready to preside over a new but equally adoring domain. And one day he’d probably use the story of his youthful impropriety to his advantage, as a relatable teaching moment during a Tuesday evening youth group session. Strumming upon his acoustic guitar under the fluorescent lighting of some church recreation room, he’d gather the boys around him and talk about temptation, about the forgiveness of the Father, about pledges of purity and redemption. It would all humanize him in a way that otherwise would’ve been difficult considering the chisel of jaw, or the length of his eyelashes above his shallow blue eyes. Gray didn’t have much pity to give him, regardless of her role in shuffling him out of MCA’s hierarchy. He would land on his feet just fine.